How did my relationship get here?

It’s different for each couple. Maybe it’s a break down in communication that continued to get worse. Maybe it’s hurt feelings that created resentment or even pettiness in how we communicate. Sometimes the fights on repeat are because each partner is trying to be heard, not trying to understand- and so they leave the fight at a stand still, unheard and without solutions.

My partner shuts down and runs, I just want to talk it out- why are we like this?

This is a really common dynamic, and is often a result of each partners attachment style. Anxious attachements will chase the fight because parting ways on bad terms creates more anxiety and racing thoughts. Avoidant attachments run from a fight because they are feeling unsafe, unheard, or don’t know what they feel. In your first session we talk about attachment styles, communication habits,and more. Our goal is to understand why you respond how you do, and what you need to happen in a conversation so that it’s productive and you end it as friends.

I’m afraid this wont ever change.

You’ve been trying to tackle something really big, and quite complex, all on your own. Everyone has strong suits, communication is ours. Let us be a resource for your relationship, helping guide you guys to a better life full of happiness, easy conversation, and solutions.

We can’t even talk nicely to each other- how can we do therapy?

Truth is, there will be more hurt before it gets better, but it can and will get better. That first solo session is crucial in this- you get the opportunity to just vent, let it out, grieve what you use to have and mourn where you are. We promote the emotions being explored in full capacity before the couples session so we can minimise the hurt, but also identify the patterns of communication that are helping -or- hurting your relationship. We are experts at guiding communication so it stays productive and kind, we force couples to pause, reflect and apologize in real time- accountability it key. We use talking sticks and more to create active listening skills, and even offer guided reflection questions for after a hard conversation or fight.

My partner is hesitant to come, what do I do?

We don’t offer a kidnapping service, and so the best we can do is offer a free consult where your partner can get to know us and we can explain why the solo session is the best place for a hesitant partner to feel supported and heard- it also makes sure both partners know we are unbiased in session- supporting each partners goals and the shared goals of the couple.