FAQs
How did my relationship get here?
Honestly, don’t be hard on yourself. The reality is a lot of couples don’t know to include “how to continue liking each other post kids” in their pre-baby talks, because we don’t know just how challenging parenthood is, but also no baby book mentions the importance of working on and prioritising your relationship. You aren’t alone in this struggle- but thankfully you have come to the right place!
Why am I so snappy with my partner, like I have no patience anymore?
OVER-STIM-ULATION. Kids are completely dependent on you to understand their world, and so it is draining and overwhelming being responsible for someones safety and well being in it’s entirety. When we pair that with the fact children have no volume control or emotional regulation-and- that we struggle to prioritize ourselves or the relationship without guilt, it creates the perfect storm. We talk a lot about how important being a healthy individual is, in a healthy and working relationship.
I’m afraid this wont ever change.
It’s okay to feel hesitant that this will be worth it- but the fear of nothing changing often comes from couples trying the same techniques to problem solve and repeatedly seeing no change. We are experts in creating actionable and easily implementable changes, and have yet to experience a couple that was unable to heal their relationship.
I don’t feel like my partner understands how much I feel birth and parenthood changed me, what do I do?
The unfortunate, but also beautiful thing about birth is that the experience in totality belongs to the Mother, and that creates room for misunderstanding. In reality your partner probably wont ever understand, but the focus is more so on how your partner can aid in you feeling like your old self even in small glimpses, because that’s what reignites a relationship.
Sex is no existent and I really miss that physical connection- what has changed that makes me undesireable?
First off- you aren’t undesireable, even though it may feel that way. More often then not sex disappears after other things do, like: self esteem, emotional safety, connection and intimacy (and yes sex and intimacy are different- book in- we’ll help you understand).
My partner is hesitant to come, what do I do?
We don’t offer a kidnapping service, and so the best we can do is offer a free consult where your partner can get to know us and we can explain why the solo session is the best place for a hesitant partner to feel supported and heard- it also makes sure both partners know we are unbiased in session- supporting each partners goals and the shared goals of the couple.
“I spent my solo session crying, yelling and truthfully getting lighter. At first i was skeptical of WHY i needed to come in alone, cause i felt like my husband was the problem lol. After that solo session I can’t imagine the type of gong show our first session would have been, had i not done it. I needed that release. ”
“We’ve done the love language quiz but it never did us any good, we actually fought the last time we took it. Rachel really taught us that we were looking at the results selfishly, and weren’t even curious about understanding each other. Years later we still take the test whenever we feel disconnected and then use the questions Rachel gave us to talk about them.”
“Our couples counselling ended really uniquely. We came in when our teen walked in on us screaming and essentially broke down about the stress and hurt we were causing. Through The Hive we not only healed our marriage, but we fixed the damage we had unknowingly caused in our family. I’m so thankful for them all!”