How did my relationship get here?

It’s different from couple to couple, but more often then not it’s a result of unmet needs not being communicated, or not being effectively communicated. In the solo sessions we really dig into what to needs are and how we have been communicating them- it’s important to meet the needs and bring back the heat!

She either wants it to be a quickie or she wants a lot more foreplay when we use to do, why?

We can’t speak for everyone- but we see a common trend with this experience. 1) You are now trying to fit it in during naps or at bed time when she is exhausted. 2) She views foreplay as a reconnection act, because sex does not currently feel like it reconnects. 3) She feels pressured into sex and so the obligation makes her want it to be over quickly.

I’m afraid this wont ever change.

It’s okay to feel hesitant that this will be worth it- but the fear of nothing changing often comes from couples trying the same techniques to problem solve and repeatedly seeing no change. We are experts in creating actionable and easily implementable changes, and have yet to experience a couple that was unable to heal their relationship.

Why does he nag me? Like he always makes little jabs or “jokes, even after I tell them they aren’t funny!

Your partner might be uncomfortable having a serious conversation about what is impacting sex- and that could be for a plethora of reasons (discomfort with emotions, or feeling like they will just be told they are the problem with no solution). Many people will use humour to talk about hurtful or serious things because they want the convo to land gently and don’t know how else to do it. We definitely work with couples to figure out what is well received, and what isn’t and then we talk about WHY the initial approach was used.

Sex is no, existent and I really miss that physical connection- what has changed that makes me undesireable?

First off- you aren’t undesireable, even though it may feel that way. More often then not sex disappears after other things do, like: self esteem, emotional safety, connection and intimacy (and yes sex and intimacy are different- book in- we’ll help you understand).

My partner is hesitant to come, what do I do?

We don’t offer a kidnapping service, and so the best we can do is offer a free consult where your partner can get to know us and we can explain why the solo session is the best place for a hesitant partner to feel supported and heard- it also makes sure both partners know we are unbiased in session- supporting each partners goals and the shared goals of the couple.