Relationships can be a sense of comfort and strength, and a source of stress and insecurity. Here at The Hive we approach couples counselling a bit differently. We get each partner to participate in a solo therapy session prior to their couples counselling- because it’s proven to be effective in stopping the fighting and fast tracking the healing.
Couples Counselling
In Saskatoon
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In this individual counselling session a few different things happen:
-You get to walk us through your love story, where it went off track and what brought you to needing help.
-We explore where the old wounds are and what healing them would look like for you.
-You tell us what your goals are, what your fears are, and what you want your relationship to look like on the other end of this.
-We also assess communication skills- in what ways are each of you communicating effectively and ineffectively.
-And you get to rant: Let’s face it- by the time most couples reach out for help there is anger, animosity, hurt and many other complex emotions. This solo session allow you to get it all out, without it damaging your relationship further, and without causing another fight.
Our motto is “You’re already fighting on your couch, you don’t need to be fighting on ours too. Let’s come to the table as our best self.”
How did our relationship get here?
The mental load can be exhausting, especially when one partner ends up carrying most of the invisible responsibilities. Over time, this imbalance breeds resentment, disconnect, and even strips away intimacy. In many relationships, our love languages shape our roles. If acts of service is your love language, you may have fallen into the role of easing your partner’s load to show love and dedication. That structure can work—until parenthood, job changes, or other life pressures tip the balance. Suddenly, the mental load is crushing, and no one’s needs are being met.
I’ve asked for help before and it doesn’t stick or it still doesn’t feel fair- now what?
Being an equitable (emphasis on equitable and not equal- come into session to find out why!) partner is a lot of work and requires habit building and routine support. We like to implement tactics and homework that get each partner communicating what their daily responsibilities are in productive ways, we also create actionable plans to gradually create equity in relationships so that no one feels overwhelmed or defensive and having the mental load shared is an easy to maintain norm.
Why can’t I ask for help without feeling like a nag?
This is one of the most common struggles couples bring into counselling. Sometimes, it’s about how needs are communicated—or not communicated—leaving partners frustrated and defensive. Other times, one partner simply doesn’t understand the concept of the “mental load,” so your requests don’t land. In therapy, we break down these patterns, create an actionable plan to rebalance responsibilities, and teach both partners how to ask for (and respond to) needs without defensiveness.
I’m so angry I don’t know how to communicate kindly anymore, why do I never feel heard?
You’re not the first (and won’t be the last) to feel this way—that’s exactly why we start with individual sessions. In your solo session, you’ll have space to vent, name your feelings, and set goals without hurting your partner. This prep work helps you show up to couples therapy with clarity instead of anger.
Couples Counselling That Helps Address
The Mental Load
How did my relationship get here?
Don’t be hard on yourself. Most couples don’t think to include “how to keep liking each other after kids” in their pre-baby talks—because honestly, who knew how challenging parenthood really is? Baby books rarely mention how much work it takes to keep a relationship strong. You are not alone in this struggle—and the good news is, you’ve come to the right place for support.
Why am I so snappy with my partner, like I have no patience anymore?
In short form: overstimulation and zero personal time. Kids rely on you for everything-safety, comfort, understanding their world- to name a few. Add in that your kids have: no volume control- as well as no emotional regulation, and that you have very little time to recharge as an individual, it’s no surprise your patience is thin. We help couples navigate this by building balance, healthy communication, and realistic strategies that put you and your relationship back in the picture.
I’m afraid this won’t ever change, will this help?
That fear is real. Many couples have tried the same strategies over and over, only to feel stuck. But change happens when you’re guided to do something different. Our therapists specialize in creating simple, actionable steps that actually stick. We’ve yet to meet a couple who couldn’t heal with the right support.
I don’t feel like my partner understands how much parenthood changed me. What do I do?
You’re right-it’s hard for partners to fully understand the physical and emotional transformation that comes with birth and parenthood. The focus shifts from “understanding everything” to “supporting in meaningful ways.” We help couples reconnect by finding those small but powerful ways your partner can help you feel like yourself again- and those little glimpses reignite relationships.
Sex is non-existent and I really miss that connection. Does this mean I’m undesirable?
Absolutely not. Sex often disappears only after other pieces fade first- like self-esteem, emotional safety, trust, and intimacy (yes, intimacy and sex are different). We’ll help you and your partner rebuild those foundations so desire can return naturally-without pressure, shame, or blame.
Couples Counselling That Helps You With Your
Relationship During Parenthood
Sex feels like something I have to earn, it never use to be like- this so why now?
Sex has seasons based on a variety of things like stress, hormones, and many other factors. Often, it’s not really about sex-it’s about unmet needs that aren’t being clearly or effectively communicated. In solo sessions, we help each partner identify what their unmet needs are and explore how those correlate or relate to intimacy. Once each partner creates intimacy goals we use this to guide the relationship, when needs are met intimacy is the result.
It’s like a chore, at the end of the day I just can’t but I know it’s a need of theirs so I do it- is this how it is now ?
Just because this is how it is right now, doesn’t mean it has to stay this way. If you want it to be different there is always ways to improve it. More often than not, this situation arises from lack of self care time, inequitable share of responsibility, and a disconnect with the emotional intimacy in the relationship.
They either wants a quickie, or suddenly needs way more foreplay than they used to. Why?
While every couple’s dynamic is unique, we often see a few patterns behind this:
-You’re trying to fit intimacy into tiny windows-like nap time or late at night-when your partner might be exhausted.
-For them, foreplay is starting to feel like the real reconnection, since sex itself doesn’t currently bring that closeness.
-If sex feels pressured, we are more likely to either rush through it or avoid it altogether.
These aren’t unsolvable problems-they’re signals that the relationship needs a reset in how you connect.
Why do they keep making little jabs or ‘jokes’ about sex, even after I say it’s not funny?
Humour is often a shield. Your partner might feel too uncomfortable to start a serious conversation, or they might worry they’ll be blamed and left without a solution. Jokes become a way to “soften” what really needs to be said. In counselling, we help couples replace unhelpful habits like this with communication that actually lands how its intended to- so both partners feel safe, respected, and heard.
Sex is basically non-existent now, and I feel undesirable. What changed?
First-you are not undesirable. When sex disappears, it’s usually because other things have faded first: self-esteem, emotional safety, trust, connection, or intimacy (and yes—sex and intimacy are different). We work with you to rebuild the foundation so physical closeness feels natural and wanted again.
Couples Counselling That Can
Improve Intimacy & Sex
I feel like we don’t even know how to connect anymore. Is that normal?
It’s common. As we get busy and life changes, small shifts in connection add up, and we can grow apart without even noticing. In counselling, we love hearing the story of how you met and fell for each other. We use that insight to create practical recommendations, at-home exercises, and date night ideas that reignite closeness.
Things feel really bad, how can we come back from this?
You loved each other once and yearned for connection. That spark is still there-it just needs guidance and space to be rediscovered. We’re confident you can get back to that feeling, and we’ll help you along the way.
Everyone says we just need to go on more dates, but we don’t have a village. How can we fix this?
Let us be your village. We have connections to certified babysitters and early childhood educators who can help support your family. Plus, we have a treasure trove of at-home date night ideas-because connection doesn’t always require leaving the house.
In the past, we used sex to reconnect-but that’s not working anymore. What’s wrong with us?
Nothing. Often, sex used to work because other parts of your lives-self-care, social connection, personal time-were in balance. Now, with busy schedules and heavier responsibilities, sex alone can’t carry the relationship. Learning to connect emotionally outside the bedroom is key to making intimacy feel meaningful again.
Couples Counselling That Ends The
Roommate Phase
I’m not even sure it was infidelity, but it hurts- how do you know it was cheating?
We understand infidelity from many lenses and perspectives. There is one omnipresent factor in all types: financial, emotional, physical, digital, etc., and that is hurt. If it hurts, it needs to be addressed.
My partner was unfaithful, and I’m struggling to trust and be kind-can this get better?
We believe, yes it can- but like with all types of therapy there is work. With honesty, vulnerability, and guidance, it absolutely can. Infidelity often stems from unmet needs-sometimes communicated, sometimes not-and healing takes time. The goal isn’t to return to what you had before. Instead, we help couples build something stronger, leaving the negatives behind while pulling forward the positives.
It’s coming up to the anniversary of me finding out, i’m spiralling and don’t feel we dealt with this fully- why does it still hurt?
This event will logically stir up emotions, like most traumatic events there are triggers- with infidelity a big one is the anniversary date of the infidelity being exposed. Healing from infidelity is not linear, it isn’t clean and straightforward- it is messy and raw.
We can’t even talk nicely to each other-how can we do therapy?
Truth: there will be more hurt before it gets better-but it can get better. The first solo session is crucial: you get to vent, grieve what you’ve lost, and process your emotions fully. This allows the couples session to focus on healing and productive communication. We guide couples through tough conversations, creating accountability with tools like talking sticks, active listening exercises, and post-discussion reflection prompts.
Nothing feels the same anymore, like all the memories and habits are ruined, is this life now?
Healing from infidelity looks different couple to couple ,because each relationship is so unique. Some couples keep habits as a way to show perseverance, others adapt them to hold new importance, and some scrap them entirely to develop new experience as partners . As you go through the process of healing, relearning each others needs and expectations, we will offer activities and resources to help you and your partner explore what you want your relationship to look like.
Couples Counselling That Can Help You
Build Something Stronger
How did my relationship get here?
Every couple’s story is different. Maybe it started with a breakdown in communication that gradually worsened. Maybe unresolved hurt feelings turned into resentment- or even pettiness -in how you interact. Often, repeated fights happen because each partner is trying to be heard rather than trying to understand. This leaves problems unresolved, feelings unheard, and solutions out of reach.
My partner shuts down and runs, and I just want to talk it out-why are we like this?
This is a very common dynamic, often tied to each partner’s attachment style. Anxious partners tend to chase the conversation, because leaving unresolved tension creates racing thoughts and anxiety. Avoidant partners may retreat, feeling unsafe, unheard, or unsure of their emotions. In your first session, we explore attachment styles, communication habits, and more. Our goal is to help you respond in ways that make conversations productive, safe, and leave both partners feeling understood.
I’m afraid this won’t ever change.
You’re trying to tackle something complex on your own—and that’s exhausting. Communication is our specialty. Let us guide your relationship toward easier conversations, better understanding, and practical solutions that rebuild connection and happiness.
I don’t remember the last time we spoke and it didn’t turn into a screaming match- what if we can’t talk nice in session?
You would be surprised how well we can curb a conversation that isn’t healthy, we guide conversations back to being productive, reminding partners that they are a team, them against the problem- not one partner against the other. We offer insight into communication styles used during conflict and will often help each partner explore independently why they fall back to this pattern.
Couples Counselling That Helps Partners
Communicate Effectively- Even When Mad
My partner is hesitant to come- what do I do?
We get it ,you can’t drag your partner in, and we don’t offer kidnapping services (sorry!). What we can do is offer a free consult, where your partner gets to briefly meet the counsellor, hear how sessions work, and see that we’re not here to take sides. Starting with a solo session often helps a hesitant partner feel safe, supported, and curious about joining.
Do you offer direct billing to both partners insurance plans?
We direct bill to any companies under telus e-health, as well as greenshield and those under provider connect- we are currently in the process of registering with the co-operators and blue cross. If we are currently able to direct bill to both partners insurance plans we will do so under the partner that the session is booked under, if after submitting to both plans there is an out of pocket amount- it will be the couples responsibility to submit that receipt to both insurance plans , this time under the alternate partners name.
Our health benefits don’t cover a lot, do we just have to wait it out til they renew?
Once your health benefits are used in their entirety, we adjust the counselling sessions using our sliding scale calculator and one partners income. Our sliding scale calculator allows us to offer sessions as low as $50/session.